Small decisions, huge consequences

In this series, we consider the plans and pitfalls that will either make you or break you in your quest to become a better man. In Part II, we look at the importance of small decisions in shaping the man you are and are yet to become.

It’s not the occasional big decision that defines us. It is the micro-decisions we make every minute, every hour, every day that either make us or break us. The ones we make deliberately and unconsciously. They all add up to be the man looking back at us in the mirror.

We all know this on some level. Yet, we continue to make the wrong choices. The little ‘compromises’ which add up to a big impact. If we are overweight, it is because we have made more bad decisions about food than good ones. If we are not reaching our potential, its because we have spent more time entertaining ourselves than learning. The micro decisions we make are not so little after all.

This is not said in condemnation. Making good decisions feels very much like swimming against the tide. Paul knew this only too well: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15.

So, what can we do to make it a little easier to do the right thing. Here are a few hacks:

1 – Take five minutes

Doing good things is hard. Exercise, study, reading the Bible, deciding not to sin – it all takes effort. That can make it difficult to start. Especially when the conditions aren’t perfect, or we don’t feel like it, or motivation is at a low. On those days, just take five minutes and do a very small action that moves you towards your goal. If your goal is to spend time in scripture – just read a few lines for five minutes or less. If your goal is to get healthy, go for a five minute walk. If you want to learn a new language, learn a new word. Five minutes may not seem like an impactful amount of time but it is. Over seven days, that equates to 35 minutes of reading and understanding scripture. Over a month, that’s 2 hours and 20 minutes. Over a year, that is 1680 hours. That is transformative. Action also precedes motivation (rarely the other way around), so don’t be surprised if once you start, you can’t stop!

2 – Schedule it in

A budget tells your money where it needs to go. Time management works on the same principle. Making time to do what is good for you (and consequently, for those around you) is a crucial survival habit. If you don’t make time, it will be taken from you. You will be pushed and pulled around, until you have no time left to do what is important. The first step in doing that is prioritising your weekly activities. What is important (or not)? Then, work out how much time you need to achieve it (even if it is just the five minutes outlined above). Maybe you need help? Speak to your wife or girlfriend about helping making time for exercise, for example (and make sure you are as kind with her requests too). Then get it in your diary. Block that time out. Sure, there will be some weeks where something crops up but your hard and fast rule should be to protect that time. Have a Plan B (and C) for those situations.  

3 – Choose the challenge that will really get you results

Let’s talk about “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult”.

Difficult-easy, are the things we do that are stressful, challenging, even annoying but that are familiar. It is the daily grind and the pain we are intimate with. For example, working long hours and getting nowhere or starting a new diet or feeling shame after doing the thing we promised ourselves we wouldn’t do again.

Difficult-difficult, are the things that we do that are uncomfortable and painful maybe even frightening but that are truly transformative. That may be, getting up early to read scripture or learning something new or even things we may not expect like, working less hours (scary as it often impacts our sense of identity) or focusing on one thing instead of many or facing up to the feelings or root cause issues that drive us to sin or undertake harmful behaviours.

Both are difficult but difficult-difficult decisions and action often lead to more impactful results. For example, what are your afraid of? What do you typically avoid? What is deeply uncomfortable but potentially life changing?

Our little decisions have a big impact on the man we are currently and the one we are growing into. These tips can help you in your quest to be the man God created you to be.