Alternative New Year's Resolutions

My new years resolution this year is to stop making new years resolutions.  I am out, done, finished with them. 

What’s the point in wasting any more time on them?  According to studies, approximately 80% of us will have failed to keep whatever new year resolutions we may have made before the second week of February.  To those of you that regularly make it to the second week, fair play.  Last year, my daily reading plan lasted, well, days.  I don’t like excuses but if I did, I’d tell you I had a four-month-old at the time.  I was in the trenches!

Perhaps the sleep deprivation is making me cynical but there is something about this annual ritual that sets us up to fail (and fail fast).  Clearly, we don’t care enough to keep them and that tells me that there is a disconnect between what we think we should be doing, and what actually matters to us. 

Part of that problem is the rise of the social media influencers who provide a video roadmap on how to live the life of our dreams – 4am wake ups, two gym workouts, five protein shakes, lots of exotic superfoods, 6am start at the office, 9pm finish, more protein shakes.  Also, men aren’t allowed to wear a shirt in the house, and they can’t have a wife and kids (based on the video formula).  I did tell you I was getting grumpy!

This past year God has been challenging me to live by some principles that are a bit more realistic, and from my experience, more impactful.  I also get to wear a shirt.  I hope they help you, as they have helped me:

1 – Pursue goodness, not greatness

The world seems to tell us that greatness is within reach. If we work hard enough, and sacrifice enough, we will achieve it.  This formula works to a point.  Hard work does often translate to successful outcomes, but I have two caveats.

First, be careful what you sacrifice.  It’s fine to forgo life’s luxuries – too much TV, playing video games, going clubbing.  It is not ok to sacrifice your responsibilities – your family, your health and so forth. 

Second, if you want long-term, sustainable success, start pursuing goodness over greatness.  How many gifted people do we see promoted to leadership before they are ready. Sure, they have the skills, but do they have the character to handle the responsibilities and blessings that come with it.  Too many times, including in the church, charismatic, gifted people are promoted too early, and that is how we end up with moral failings.  God knew this, which is why Moses, David, Joseph and others had long periods of waiting and wilderness before they could be exalted. 

Psalm 78:72 describes David as a leader with a ‘pure heart’ and ‘skilled hands’.  Personal development plans should take this form.   

2 – Go for depth, not growth

I spent a lot of time in London in 2008/09.  Every day, I would walk past London Bridge, waiting to for The Shard to be built.  For many months, nothing was happening.  They just kept digging a hole in the ground.  One day when I was a bit frustrated, I asked the construction worker why they had been there for so long and there were no signs of this landmark tower.  He replied: “The foundations always take a long time to build.  They have to be good or the tower will fall.  The actual tower will go up pretty quickly once this is done.”  He was right.  The tallest building in Britain appeared on our skyline rapidly after its foundations were completed. 

My frustration here mirrors our society.  There is an unhealthy obsession with the idea of growth.  Some churches have also fallen into this trap, defining success by growth metrics like the number of people turning up to services, the amount of financial giving they receive, the number of staff they have, etc.  This has been well-meaning, but it is a mistake to build metrics like this.  These should not be goals; they should be consequences of something more important.  The depth of its spiritual relationship with God, its practices, its understanding of the bible, it discipling and services to people in need.  If the churches foundations are strong, God will take care of its growth by sending people.

Personal development should take the same approach.  Let God deal with your growth, you focus on the depth of your character.  Take time to deal with your past hurts, work on your character flaws, improve your strengths and weaknesses.  If we are focused on always growing, we often stop spending time on these key matters and that is a terrible error.  If we don’t have good foundations, we will get blown down in a storm. 

 Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead.